Faux Pas The Delicate Cookbook of Horrible Humor Anne O Nymus 9781468058482 Books
Download As PDF : Faux Pas The Delicate Cookbook of Horrible Humor Anne O Nymus 9781468058482 Books
Anne O. Nymus, the prize-winning author* of How to Prepare Poop and Self-circumcision A DIY Guide delivers another masterpiece that countless readers and schoolchildren are clamoring for. Setting a new standard for horrible humor, Anne provides surefire lines to turn any situation into a faux pas moment. * Statement may be fabricated
Faux Pas The Delicate Cookbook of Horrible Humor Anne O Nymus 9781468058482 Books
The greatest thing to happen to literature since the Bible made sweet love to Homer's Illiad while Plato's Republic and Virgil's the Aenied watched in the corner dutch ruttering each other until the orgy spawned King Lear. The latest Malcolm Gladwell novel was discarded as afterbirth.Which is to say this novel was not produced in a vacuum but was rather the natural progression of what came before. Its debt to the past does not mean it was inevitable nor edible, but rather essential if we are not only to understand where we have been but where we as a species are going...
It's wise enough to provide original content...
and yet humble enough tie in quotes and research from some of the most innovative minds of all time.
not too hot
not too cold
not too shy
not too bold
100% local and gluten free
with a vegan option and global capacity
It...
gave me a great reference for my job
got me laid
got me a girlfriend
got me aids
got me a raise
got Iran nuclear
was the best man at my wedding
got peace in the middle east
got me divorced
got me a spot opening for Louis CK
got rid of my aids
got me dinner
got me hired
got me drunk
got me fired
got me shot
got me high
made me laugh
made her cry
got my leg
got me aids again
turned a five
into a ten
and....
made the single most death defying, cataclysmic, amazing beer pong shot
[...]
It also writes and reads like a Rube Goldberg project.
That's right
it filets,
it chops,
it dices,
slices,
Never stops
lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair,
it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza,
and it lengthens,
and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up
'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment,
No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.
Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.
So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and
knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.
And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe
custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking,
no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.
And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary
bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer
luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination
key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine
imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim.
Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of
saying thank you.
If you're still reading you have more than enough time to buy and read this book.
Product details
|
Tags : Faux Pas: The Delicate Cookbook of Horrible Humor [Anne O. Nymus] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Anne O. Nymus, the prize-winning author* of How to Prepare Poop and Self-circumcision: A DIY Guide delivers another masterpiece that countless readers and schoolchildren are clamoring for. Setting a new standard for horrible humor,Anne O. Nymus,Faux Pas: The Delicate Cookbook of Horrible Humor,CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform,1468058487,Humor,Humor Topic Adult,Humour,Topic - Adult
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Faux Pas The Delicate Cookbook of Horrible Humor Anne O Nymus 9781468058482 Books Reviews
This book has it all heart, passion, tears, triumph, laughter at the expense of others...This is the book Edgar Allen Poe wished he had written. I could wax poetic all day about this literary gem... There were moments where my eyes welled up with tears (namely because I felt the author was speaking directly about me) but I laughed equally as hard. It has become a Shmeap family tradition to gather around the Christmas tree and read each glorious chapter aloud. Last year, grandma fell out of her wheelchair and soiled herself, she was laughing so hard! This is a welcome addition to any literary aficionado's shelf and deserves to be wedged between Dickens, Whitman and the greats. This book is sure to cook up some rip-roaring fun....
hilarious book, just ordered another 2 for my friends as gifts. be prepared to insult/offend everyone you know.
anyone know if there are gonna be more books from this author? let me know in comments please
The greatest thing to happen to literature since the Bible made sweet love to Homer's Illiad while Plato's Republic and Virgil's the Aenied watched in the corner dutch ruttering each other until the orgy spawned King Lear. The latest Malcolm Gladwell novel was discarded as afterbirth.
Which is to say this novel was not produced in a vacuum but was rather the natural progression of what came before. Its debt to the past does not mean it was inevitable nor edible, but rather essential if we are not only to understand where we have been but where we as a species are going...
It's wise enough to provide original content...
and yet humble enough tie in quotes and research from some of the most innovative minds of all time.
not too hot
not too cold
not too shy
not too bold
100% local and gluten free
with a vegan option and global capacity
It...
gave me a great reference for my job
got me laid
got me a girlfriend
got me aids
got me a raise
got Iran nuclear
was the best man at my wedding
got peace in the middle east
got me divorced
got me a spot opening for Louis CK
got rid of my aids
got me dinner
got me hired
got me drunk
got me fired
got me shot
got me high
made me laugh
made her cry
got my leg
got me aids again
turned a five
into a ten
and....
made the single most death defying, cataclysmic, amazing beer pong shot
[...]
It also writes and reads like a Rube Goldberg project.
That's right
it filets,
it chops,
it dices,
slices,
Never stops
lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair,
it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza,
and it lengthens,
and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up
'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment,
No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.
Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.
So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and
knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.
And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift a classic deluxe
custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking,
no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.
And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary
bonus gift at no cost to you a classic deluxe custom designer
luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination
key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine
imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim.
Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of
saying thank you.
If you're still reading you have more than enough time to buy and read this book.
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